Those Blasted Maternal Instincts.

So this morning Mom, Nickolas and I were on our way to Houston. We stopped at a red light at the busiest intersection in this small town....when low and behold I look out the window into the lane next to us on the right side and there is a huge turtle, just sitting there.... in the middle of the lane....


My senses must have left me because I jumped out of the car and picked the turtle up. As I was picking him up, I noticed the long tail..... I thought to myself..... "HOLY CRAP! IT'S A SNAPPING TURTLE"

Then it started to pee......and I mean really pee.... I'm pretty sure it was a gallon....So I started to hop around in the road to avoid the pee and the pee splash rebound off the road.... I'm also yelling at the top of my lungs, "IT'S PEEING, IT'S PEEING..."

(Can you picture this yet?)

The peeing stopped and I noticed the light turned green. I'm pregnant running to the car and about to sit down when the blasted turtle started to pee again.... Well, I didn't want pee on me or on my purse that was laying on the floor boards and I didn't know what to do.
My brain had left me....along with my senses.

I somehow managed to sit down and get my feet in the car while holding the turtle out the door... I started screaming at my mom,"GO, GO!" The door was still open.... the turtle was still peeing... I was still freaking out.

I realized at this point that I no longer wanted to hold this turtle, but I sure as heck didn't want to drop it on the floor board so it could eat me alive!! So I did like any 3 year old would do..... I became hysterical.... I was crying and laughing at the same time. Screaming now.... " I DON'T LIKE IT! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE...." This became my chant for what seemed like an hour, as my mom was driving to the bird sanctuary 5 miles away.... I looked over at Mom and she was laughing so hard she couldn't speak... Although she did manage to say, " You wanna switch?"
Of course I did, but I didn't want her to stop the car.... I was in mortal danger, didn't she know this??? I could hear Nickolas (my Downsyndrome Twin) in the backseat giggling at the whole scene. He loves this kind of stuff.

Did I mention the smell? The thing smelled like rotting fish flesh. I thought I would puke. The door had shut from the wind while driving, so I begged Mom to roll the window down. She did. I still thought I would puke.... I don't like puking...

We finally get to the sanctuary and I had mom pull off to the side of the road...
Knowing the end was near, I told her to grab my camera to get a picture of this huge Turtle of Terror. As you can see in the picture with me.... I'm totally freaked...
Mom finally took the Turtle of Terror from me and placed him in the woods towards the water. I was heaving into the grass, trying not to pee myself. Did I mention the smell? It was still stuck to my hands.... blech.









That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.


Goodbye Turtle!!